Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Big Chain Food Markets

Ahhh... how soothing. It looks just like the lobby of the hospital were Nana did us all a favor and finally kicked the bucket. Thank god I was in the lobby and she was in her room surrounded by strangers when it happened so I didn't have to have that awful image seared into my memory!
Olde Timey- it must be good!
So this is what happened to White Castle! (it's the mystery meat/white bread food group in case you're wondering)
Hey, even though this is southern California and I can get some of the best Mexican food in the world by just walking out my door and turning my head this way and that and following my nose until I run into culinary brilliance, you mean to tell me I can go to the FREEZER ISLE for Mexican?! Fuck ambiance! Jim Bob, warm up the TV and kick the dog out of my barcalounger- cuz I'm comin' home with dinner!
  Appetizer or six pockets each as a main course- you decide!

You know, I DO feel a lot of pressure to bathe myself and go out in public without seeming fearful and awkward whenever I crave eating craptastic, artery clogging nutritionally blank food at TGI Friday's. So my point is; WINNING!

 Now, some of those health food types would say that if there is a paragraph of ingredients and preservatives on your desired grocery item- walk away! But listen you hippies, I say PIE IS PIE. Besides, if it wasn't good fer me, they couldn't sell it, right? Right? Hello... anyone there?

Well, this is everything we could find that was edible. We debated whether or not the organic tape on the bananas was genuine, but in the end we went with it. The great part about the whole experience was that as I was pushing the cart around that gigantic warehouse of fake food, I felt just like Katharine Ross after she got murdered and turned into a Stepford wife.
Movie within a movie... (talk about bang for your buck) I also thought about that episode of Twilight Zone. "Stopover in a Quiet Town". (Google it, fetuses...)

"Bob and Millie Frasier -- average young New Yorkers who had attended a party in the country last night, and on the way home, took a detour. Most of us, on waking in the morning, know exactly where we are; the rooster or the alarm clock brings us out of sleep into the familiar sights, sounds, aromas of home and the comfort of a routine day ahead. Not so with our young friends. This will be a day like none they've ever spent, and they'll spend it in the Twilight Zone."

(also known as the corporate owned grocery store...)

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