Neptune's Net Malibu

Photo;Shandra Beri

On a whim I took Christina for a nice little drive up the coast. We'd decided before-hand that we'd find a spot somewhere on our journey to have a nice seaside lunch. As we headed for Point Magu, we passed Neptune's Net and Christina said she remembered taking her children with there when they were young (I later looked it up and found out the restaurant was founded in 1958 which is practically the Jurassic Period by LA standards), so I was glad we hit it on the way back.

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri 

To be totally transparent, I've probably passed 'The Net' (as the regulars refer to it) hundreds and hundreds of times and never once thought seriously about stopping there since it seemed to always be crammed with pretend motorcycle gangs ( white collar dilholes who buy fantastically expensive Harleys, sport matching 'drag' and ride in formation creating long, slow irritating parade routes all over the most scenic parts of LA every weekend ) and TONS of tourists.

  Photo;Shandra Beri 

I used the Lomo after effect to make everything look kind of groovy, but truly, it wasn't.

  Photo;Shandra Beri 

I seated Christina, took her order and went to take my place it in a long snaking line of bodies. I kind of got my expectations up when I passed this little display on the counter.

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri 

Okay, if you check out the bottom of this annoyingly hokey sign, it pretty much telegraphs the condition of the place; frayed around every exposed edge. Which can be cool unless every single exposed surface is shining with a membrane of old grease and the encased DNA of every person who has touched it since 1958.  

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri

This looks WAAAAY less crappy than it actually is...

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri 

Here is The Ocean View. Please ignore all the car exhaust from PCH highway and all the dilholes revving their motorcycles 1 foot from your table (we wisely sat inside...).

Photo;Shandra Beri 

Generally speaking I'm not a fried food person, but since Christina is from England, if fish and chips is on the menu we order it and she gives me her opinion on how near or far it is from The Real Deal.

(wasn't crazy about opening my to-go tray and staring at crappy napkins and plastic ketchup packs laying on my food...)

  Photo;Shandra Beri 

The cod was actually mild and seemed fresh, but the 'crust'....zomg. Was it bread crumbs or other 'cod cracklin's'? Anyway, the oil was OLD and the crust was hard and really overpowered the fish. I ate the small piece and took the rest home to the crows (who though it was DELICIOUS btw!). In all fairness, for some reason, the french fries were perfect. The crows liked them as well.

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri

 

 Photo;Shandra Beri 

Oh, one more little 'deal breaker' detail; PORTA POTTIES.

Yuck!