Sunday, February 9, 2014

If I Were A Man I'd Be Like You...


The Quest For Every Beard Type

I’ve been growing a beard every winter for some years now, and every spring, I try to see how many facial hair variations as I can check off from the chart of facial hair types. So far, over 2.4 million people have been following along. Listed below are descriptions of 44 facial hair types including examples of the 39 42 variations that I’ve been able to attain so far.
Enjoy!

A La Souvarov

A sideburn / mustache combo where the sideburn curves downward toward the corner of the mouth and then curves upward into the mustache. Similar to a curvy version of the Franz Josef.
Status: Complete (2008)
A La Souvarov (2008)

The Anchor

A beard without sideburns that extends along jawline and is styled into a point. It is combined with a pencil style mustache to resemble an anchor.
Status: Complete (2007)
The Anchor (2007)

Balbo

A wide version of the goatee accompanied by an unconnected mustache.
Status: Complete (2007)
Balboa (2007)

Cantinflas

The complete opposite of the toothbrush, this mustache is comprised of the two ends of a typical mustache. No hair is under the nose, and each piece extends only slightly beyond the corner of the mouth.
Status: Complete (2013)
Cantinflas (2013)

Chin Curtain

A beard unaccompanied by a mustache that grows down from the sideburns and along the jawline, completely covering the chin. Also called the Lincolnic.
Status: Complete (2004, 2011)
Chin Curtain (2011)

Chin Strap

A beard that grows down from the sideburns and on the underside of the jawline.
Status: Complete (2011)
Chin Strap Beard (2011)

Chin Puff

A narrow version of the goatee that only covers the round part of the chin.
Status: Complete (2007)
Chin Puff (2007)

Copstash Standard

A typical mustache as worn by police and military personnel. The mustache does not extend downward past the upper lip.
Status: Complete (2003,2013)
Copstash Standard (2003)

Dali

A mustache that curls nearly straight upward as worn by the artist Salvador Dali.
Status: Complete (2010)
Dali Mustache (2010)

Ducktail

A fuller beard that extends into a point.
Status: Complete (2008)
Ducktail (2008)

El Insecto

Two small pieces of hair worn under the chin to resemble and insect’s mandibles.
Status: Complete (2004)
El Insecto (2004)

English Mustache

A thin, long mustache pulled to the side from the middle of the upper lip. The waxed tips are worn without curl.
Status: Complete (2010)
English Mustache (2010)

English Mustache with Goatee

A thin, long, uncurled mustache pulled to the side from the middle of the upper lip and an unattached goatee.
Status: Complete (2012)
English Mustache with Goatee(2012)

Federation Standard

Sideburns that are cut from the top of the ear at a 45 degree angle towards the front to form a point. The style was worn in the original Star Trek series.
Status: Complete (2004)
Federation Standard (2004)

Franz Josef

Similar to the Friendly chops, this is a mustache/sideburn combo. The sideburns come down and then angle up sharply toward the mustache.
Status: Not Achieved… Yet.

French Fork

A full beard that extends off the chin and is split down the middle into two segments.
Status: Complete (2008,2013)
French Fork (2008)

Friendly Mutton Chops

Sideburns that extend to the edge of the mouth and are connected to a mustache.
Status: Complete (2003)
Friendly Mutton Chops (2003)

Fu Manchu

A mustache that extends downward on the sides, usually extending off of the chin.
Status: Complete (2010)
Fu Manchu (2010)

Garibaldi

A wide, full beard with a rounded bottom and integrated mustache.
Status: Complete (2010)
Garibaldi (2010)

Goatee

A beard worn on the chin like a billy goat. A proper goatee is not connected to a mustache.
Status: Complete (2004, 2012)
Goatee (2004)
Goatee shown with sideburns

Handlebar

A mustache where the sides are twisted or curl upward or outward on the ends.
Status: Complete (2007,2010)
Handlebar (2010)

Handlebar and Chin Puff

A mustache with pointy ends worn with a strip of hair down the center of the chin.
Status: Complete (2009)
Handlebar and Chin Puff (2009)

Handlebar and Goatee

A handlebar mustache worn with a goatee. Neither are connected.
Status: Complete (2009,2013)
Handlebar and Goatee (2009)

Hollywoodian

A mustache connected to a beard in which the sideburns are removed.
Status: Complete (2007)
Hollywoodian (2007)

Hulihee

Friendly chops that long and wavy.
Status: Complete (2008)
Hulihee (2008)

Hungarian

This is a bushy mustache combed from the center to the sides. Also referred to as a Wild West mustache.
Status: Complete (2010)
Hungarian Mustache (2010)

Imperial

Not to be mistaken for the Napoleon III Imperial, the Imperial is a mustache connected to hairs on the cheeks. The hair points upward, but does not curl over. Chin and sideburns are bare.
Status: Complete (2010)
Imperial (2010)

The Klingon

A full beard where the upper lip is shaved clean, but the connectors from the beard to the mustache are left in tact. Popularized by Klingon characters from the Star Trek series.
Status: Complete (2004)
The Klingon (2004)

Mutton Chops

Sideburns that extend all the way down to an imaginary lines drawn downward from the corners of the mouth.
Status: Complete (2011)
Mutton Chop Sideburns (2011)

Napoleon III Imperial

This is identical to the Handlebar and Chin Puff, except that the chin puff extends much further off of the chin.
Status: Complete (2013)
Napoleon III Imperial (2013)

Norse Skipper

A goatee that looks like an upside down teardrop that covers the chin, but goes no wider than the corners of the mouth.
Status: Complete (2012)
Norse Skipper (2012)

Old Dutch

A Full beard worn square and without mustache. The cheeks are covered, but the chin is not.
Status: Complete (2011)
Old Dutch (2011)

The Pencil

A very thin mustache along the upper lip.
Status: Complete (2003)
The Pencil (2003)

Petit Goatee

A small version of the goatee that is limited to the central part of the chin.
Status: Complete (2004,2012)
Petit Goatee (2004)

Rap Industry Standard

A very, very thin line of hair that extends from the sideburns and along the jawline and into a pencil mustache.
Status: Complete (2008)
The Rap Industry Standard (2008)

Short Boxed Beard

A full beard of typical variety.
Status: Complete (2003)
Short Boxed Beard (2003)

Soul Patch

A small patch of hair between the lower lip and chin. Popularized by beatniks of the 1960′s.
Status: Complete (2000 and 2008)
Soul Patch (2008)

Sparrow

A mustache that extends downward from the corners of the mouth combined with, but not connected to, a goatee that is separated into two braided strands. Popularized by the character, Jack Sparrow, in Pirates of the Caribbean.
Status: Complete (2011)
Sparrow Beard (2012)

Super Mario

A mustache that grows from… Come on, man. You have too many bits. You can’t really grow this.
Status: Impossible

Toothbrush

A mustache with hair only in the center of the lip that generally extends no further than the width of the nose. Made famous by Charlie Chaplin and thrown out of favor by Adolf Hitler.
Status: Complete (2008)

Go ahead and mouse over the image.

Van Dyke

A goatee that is connected to a mustache.
Status: Complete (1998,2013)
Van Dyke (1998)

Verdi

A short, rounded beard featuring a with with slightly shaven cheeks and accentuated mustache.
Status: Complete (2010)
Verdi (2010)

The Winnfield

Curved sideburns that extend below the ear combined, but not connected to, a mustache that extends downward from the corners of the mouth to the jaw line. A soul patch is also included. Popularized by the character Jules Winnfield in the movie, Pulp Fiction.
Status: Complete (2013)
Winnfield (2013)

The Zappa

A full mustache that extends slightly downward past the corners of the mouth, combined with a soul patch. Popularized by musician, Frank Zappa.
Status: Complete (2003,2013)
The Zappa (2003)

3 comments:

  1. lol. I've had the same beard since 1968. It grows there. What's most interesting to me about this guy is that over 90% of the photos here, illustrating various presentations- are specifically aggressive; here's my face- in your face.

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  2. 'It grows there.' lol

    I'm quite sure I would eventually wind up in that spot, but I'm also sure I would sport every imaginable variant before landing.

    Years ago I had a bearded, bald professor who showed up to class one day with a clean face and a full toupee made from his former beard hairs. None of us recognized him and thought he was simply a substitute until the end of class when he tipped his 'hair' like a hat. I decided at that moment that the potential for fun to be had by growing facial hair far outweighed the drudgery of shaving it every day.

    Having said that, I'd probably be one of those guys who can't even grow a proper mustache!

    :)

    ReplyDelete